In Christmas Cheer or Jingle Jitters?

Christmas. Can you picture it? Fire in the fireplace. Warmth of lamp lighting the home in the early evening hours. Everyone in your family gathered around a beautifully decorated table. All of the side dishes have already been placed at the table, as everyone eagerly awaits the main dish.  As the hostess walks in with a beautifully roasted turkey, browned to perfection. And then… (What happens next?)

Notice where your mind goes. Do you picture a joyful evening of visiting and family bliss?

Children laughing? People reflecting on all they are grateful for? Or do you imagine difficult personalities, complaints about the food, no appreciation for the hosting efforts, too much drinking, or avoiding the awkward questions—so, are you seeing anyone? When are you going to have children? Or, especially in 2024, who did you vote for?? Having anxiety around the holidays is actually pretty normal. While we would all like to have the picture-perfect family gathering, the reality is that most families have hard moments during the holidays. Big expectations, big personalities, big responsibilities. All of these things combined mean there are going to be stressful moments. It’s normal, but here are three tips to cope with
the Jingle Jitters:

First, let’s contain those expectations.
Holiday anxiety is often rooted in putting pressure on us to achieve perfection. What if we allow imperfect moments AND a good holiday to coexist? Can it be a great Christmas, even if the meal is 20min late? Of course!

What if someone doesn’t like your gift? Yes, it is still good. There will be stressful moments.

Expect them.
But it doesn’t mean the whole day is ruined. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It can be a great holiday with a few stressful moments sprinkled in. 

Practice mindfulness.
Sometimes, all we can do is manage ourselves and our nervous system appropriately.  So, every now and then, check-in with yourself. Notice your surroundings.

What are you thinking about right now? How are you feeling, at this moment? What emotions are you experiencing? Can you allow those feelings? What do you need? Do you need to get a
drink of water, step outside for a quiet moment, or change the conversation?

Practice pausing.
​If you feel the stress becoming overwhelming, excuse yourself to the restroom, the garage, the patio, wherever you can get away for a moment. Take a deep breath. 

Sometimes we just feel overstimulated or overwhelmed with emotion. It’s OK. Take another deep breath. Pausing to breathe slows down our nervous system and allows us to think clearly about where we are at and what we need. Do you need to pray about something? Is it time to visit with someone else? Or, can you say, “I appreciate your perspective, but I have strong feelings on this subject, and I don’t want to get upset. Let’s talk about something less stressful.”

Notice how you are feeling and what you need to feel better, even if it is just for the moment.
Then do it.

It’s normal for us to feel stress around the holidays, but it doesn’t mean it has to own the day. Practicing these three things can help make the holiday anxiety manageable.

Remember to begin by allowing yourself and your family to be imperfect. There can be tense moments amidst an overall enjoyable holiday celebration. Focus on doing your part—managing yourself. Pause and check-in with yourself to decide what you need to feel better. The sooner we quiet our nervous system, the sooner we get back to Christmas cheer.

Remember, you can have a great holiday and have moments of stress sprinkled throughout.

Melissa Kachin, MA, MS, LCPC 

"I Chose Happy."

​Happiness, that elusive yet universally sought-after emotion, is often misunderstood as a destination to reach or a prize to win! 

In truth, happiness is more of a practice than a place—it’s woven into the fabric of our everyday lives and the choices we make daily. 

At its core, happiness starts with gratitude. When we pause to appreciate the simple blessings around us—a kind smile, the warmth of the sun on a cold day, or the sound of laughter—we ground ourselves in the present. A grateful heart reshapes our view from deficiency to abundance, embracing a joyful mindset. 

People are naturally drawn to those who radiate happiness and positivity—those who don’t complain excessively. While we’re all prone to complaining from time to time, the key is to regroup ‘quickly’ and not dwell on negativity. No one enjoys spending time with “happiness thieves” who drain energy and joy from others— Chose Happy

Colossians 3:12-13; Proverbs 15:13; 18:15: 9:10; Proverbs 31:25; John 10:10